As one of the persons who made arrangements for your first day in college and wished to see you graduate one day like us, your seniors, you have left us with insurmountable grief which thrives on sweet memories we have of you.
I have seen you grow from a kid silenced in his caste to a vocal person with strong opinions, asking important questions, no matter how hard they tried to suppress your voice. Your buddies from the collective, language cell, batch mates to teachers who taught you even the ones you hated because of their insensitiveness towards caste, miss you and are still processing your decision to end your life.
You will always survive in my memory as a fiercely loyal person who stood with half a dozen of us when we were fighting the administration not caring about the consequences it would have for you, during those long months where nothing seemed to be going in our favour, as a person who was ever ready to volunteer and help ODORI and QC with lighting in productions, as a junior who used to sit me down to narrate his poems, and even the times when I rebuked you for being late, for not taking enough care of yourself, that’s how our last conversation ended, guess you’ll never be late for a meeting now, never hold an event, never collectivise again but you will always be there with us Prince.
Such was your simple charm. Your positivity and smile hid your pain well. We never saw it coming, like most bad things, maybe even you didn’t see it coming, such is the nature of this violence, and that it leaves no visible marks. You just try to keep your head above water and hope you succeed. All that remains, is grief, grief of not being there, grief of us trying and failing again, grief that none of us will get to be with you again in the same way.
I am sorry we failed to provide you a community, and couldn’t get through your loneliness very much like those we stand to critique. You will be a reminder that no matter how many courses we devise, positions we accumulate, letters we write, protests we hold, our fight for our rights, dignity and equality is far from over and when we are fighting we must devise means to hold each other as we hold on to our grief. We must do more. Maybe loving each other and reminding each other of that love is as important as critiquing savarna cliques and networks, it is an act of resistance when the society only teaches you to loath yourself. So I hope some of us would say it more often, to you and to each other. We love you prince, and we will remember you in our struggles. We will never forget that AUD is complicit in this, but for now we heal.
Love and Rage.
The murder of a child belonging to the scheduled caste community in Saraswati Vidya Mandir…